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Guest blogger: Lynda Renham

10 November 2013

Lynda RenhamI have always looked on the bright side of things. My sense of humour is wacky and I have been called eccentric, nicely mad and well funny. One memorable comment from a student I was teaching many years ago was, ‘You is well funny, you should be on the telly.’ Yes, well… There have been times that it could seriously have got me into trouble, so I decided to turn my madness to my advantage and write books. If you decide to read one of my books then be prepared to laugh out loud and show yourself up in public. A famous author whose name I won’t reveal, (well name dropping is not the done thing is it?) admitted to embarrassing herself at a spa one weekend by laughing out loud at my novel. Of course had it been Lady Gaga I would be shouting her name from the rooftops. Anyway I digress. I have already recounted many funny episodes in my life but believe me for every one that I have told there are a million others. So, here we go, sit down, get comfy and get yourselves a cup of tea or whisky. We’re easy here, if you’re a lush we don’t mind.

Now my question to you is this. Am I clearly mad, or can this all be blamed on hormones? I have been known to trudge round the supermarket for an hour, pack my shopping, ask for the collect by car option, accept my number disc and then drive all the way home before realising I am still holding the disc and my shopping is still at the store.

I really hate to hurt people’s feelings. We live in a lovely English village and having a milkman is rather cute but it really is a waste of time when I can get the milk with all my other shopping at the supermarket. But I just can’t tell him that. Rather than tell him I don’t need him anymore, I fake lactose intolerance. He was so sympathetic and helpful that I found myself accepting his offer of lactose free milk and yoghurt. My husband’s reaction when seeing all this lactose free milk in the fridge is not repeatable. You can’t blame him.

I have packed my shopping into the boot of my car and left my handbag in the shopping trolley and driven home. I’ve done this twice now.

I’ve left the house and locked the front door while leaving the back door wide open.

I have unbuttoned my skirt while travelling on a coach only to forget to button up again. Yes, you’ve guessed it, while running along Oxford Street to catch a connecting bus I ended up with my skirt around my ankles.

I’m the woman who gets a tampon stuck and has to have it surgically removed, oh yes, that really happened. This story is on my blog here.

I have also attempted to get into a car that looks very like mine for about ten minutes until I finally spot the baby seat and remember I don’t have a baby.

Like a good wife I prepare dinner early and put everything in the slow cooker and then potter off to write. It is only when my husband arrives home at 6.30 that I realise I had plugged in the toaster instead of the slow cooker. No dinner!

I send text message to the wrong people … Seriously, this has had dire effects on my friendships. Now you are all going to tell me how similar things happen to you every day aren’t you? Or are you just going to tell me, ‘You is well funny!’

To read more humour by me you can find stories at my blogs and of course you can purchase my new book The Valentine Present and other Diabolical Liberties on Amazon.com.

Little ValentineHere’s a little taster…

On arriving home after a friend’s posh wedding, launderette worker Harriet finds her life irrevocably changed as she discovers her flat ransacked and her boyfriend missing. In a matter of hours she is harassed by East End gangsters and upper crust aristocrats. Accepting an offer she can’t refuse, Harriet, against her better judgment becomes the fiancée of the wealthy Hamilton Lancaster, with dire consequences. What she had not bargained on was meeting Doctor Brice Edmunds.

The Valentine Present and Other Diabolical Liberties is Lynda Renham’s funniest novel so far. A cocktail of misunderstandings, three unlikely gangsters, a monkey and a demented cat make this novel a hysterical read. Follow Harriet’s adventure where every attempt to get out of trouble puts her deeper in it.

You can find Lynda here: Blog | Facebook | Twitter

6 Comments
  1. 12 November 2013 7:39 am

    Oh, Lynette, nothing worse than when your husband is with you… I know that feeling 🙂 xx

  2. 12 November 2013 7:38 am

    I very much hope you enjoy it, Helen. Do let me know what you think. xxx

  3. helensibbritt permalink
    11 November 2013 7:31 pm

    Hi Lynda

    Oh we have all done some of those things LOL I am sure but a lot of people won’t own up to it I try to forget some of the funny things I have done love the sound of your book I need to get this I really could do with a laugh at the moment

    Have Fun
    Helen

  4. lynette williams permalink
    11 November 2013 10:18 am

    you are not alone once could not find my credit card when I went back to the last shop I had been in there it was sitting on top of some wares only problem was my husband was with me —lyn

  5. 10 November 2013 10:47 pm

    Wow, that was lucky. I’ve done it twice now and both times someone had handed the bags into the store. Lucky us. Glad I’m not alone. xxx

  6. 10 November 2013 7:10 pm

    Hi Lynda
    Don’t worry you are not the only one who has done those things… I packed the shopping in the car and left the bag in the trolley… Got home and realised what I had done, drove back and luckily the bag was still in the trolley.

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